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Shut The Fuck Up Straight People: I don't ship them.






Thank you!

I am a gay male. Likely I’m one of the oldest users on tumblr. I’m 74. Yes, young readers seventy four. I have been with my partner Carl for 47 years now.

Please know that while we both know technology very well, we are also trying very hard to remember, and use correctly, the new dialogue that has grown. So, if any words appear here that are not considered correct…it is not because I refuse to use them. It’s because I haven’t heard them. Or seen them. Or am emotional enough while writing this that I simply use “old fart” words.

We have both been through it all. The hiding because it was illegal, the fear and pain of the loss of fifteen different friends and acquaintances from A.I.D.S. The times when you literally (not virtually) could not walk the streets without meeting someone that had a sign, or a pamphlet that declared A.I.D.S was God’s way of “ridding the earth” of homosexuality. We lived through the burning of homes, and clubs, and bars. We lived through the beating deaths. I lived through a beating that nearly lost me my right eye and left me completely deaf in the right ear. Carl lost several jobs because “he must be…” or “we know.” We lived through hatred that was terrifying and sickening and unimaginable to some today.

The hatred is still there. The overt and the subtle. Things are, however better (it’s a terrible word, I know). Carl and I married. We debated making it very public, but decided on a personal ceremony. The photos are filled with our friends who are 90 and…well…have a few pages stuck together, to new friends who are young enough to be our grandchildren.

Carl and I are in a variety of fandoms. Yes, we are trekkies-we bought our first color television just for Star Trek. Now Carl loves Supernatural (and thinks it’s gone so far down the crapper that they’ve actually made Naomi an Alien). I like Teen Wolf and we both watch Sherlock.

The opening statement made by the anon is so, so true. And to us, it is a new form of hatred. I read fanfic and write it. Carl and I both enjoy all forms of fanworks.

Here’s the kicker… Neither of us is a Sherlock/John shipper. We both see Sherlock and John as two men who have a very unique and incredibly strong friendship. Here’s the irony: I have been called a homophobe for not shipping Sherlock and John. I received hate messages in my (now deleted) Sherlock blog when I answered ‘do you ship Johnlock?’ with the single word ‘no’. It was oddly amusing: “Homophobe”, “die cis scum!”, “go kill yourself”, “you must be a lonely, fat, hag”.

When straight people go out of their way to “prove” that John and Sherlock (and other fandom characters) are gay, and do so with the cry of “if you don’t ship it, you hate gays!” It is an ironic form of hatred and, in a way, homophobia: These straight people are so determined to show that they aren’t homophobic, that they fail to see how damaging their fetishization and “look at how accepting I am!” is. That, queers can actually see a friendship between John and Sherlock (and any other fandom characters). That seeing a friendship, and not shipping John and Sherlock is simply that… Seeing a friendship.

When you demand, dear straight people, that others ship Johnlock, and demand that if you don’t “ship” you are homophobic… You are the one that is showing intolerance and hate: Your quest to prove that you’re on “our side” only proves your ignorance, your desperation to been seen as an ally, and the fact that you don’t actually see queer issues, or respect those that are queer.

You only want to see two guys have hot (or painfully bad, and painfu,l considering the how…painfully it is written the majority of the time) sex.

Read it; learn things. 

Ok so y’all know by now that I don’t watch TV and barely even know what “shipping” means but I’ve got mad respect for my elders and this guy knows what’s up with gay fetishization by straight folks.

Wish the OP’s URL was on this post. Wanna follow. And give him a great big hug. And a high five for being right.

This man is my fucking hero and I can only hope to be as great and eloquent as him some day.

#it’s either blatant denial of actual gay relationships#or fetishization#people who are hateful towards those who fit into gay stereotypes#and those who need to perpetuate them even when there are none#god you basically can’t fucking win as a queer person#like every time i watch tv i see something homophobic and i’m just like u r g h#sighs

Most people don’t ever get the chance to spontaneously and completely reinvent themselves: trans* people do. Take advantage of this opportunity by being the most authentic you that you can be, and don’t worry about trying to conform to society’s expectations of how someone like you is “supposed to” look or act. If you’re a trans girl that enjoys rugby and hates dresses, don’t let anyone try to deny the validity of your gender. If you’re a trans guy who loves sparkles and makeup, own it. And if you’re trans* but don’t feel comfortable in either binary category of male or female, resist the pressure to pick one. Be proud of who you are and don’t be afraid to show it- you deserve to live an authentic life.



These Women Are About To Tell You Some Things That Are Absolutely None Of Your Business

Holy shit women on fire. This video gave me chills. If you do nothing at all today - watch this!

this shit is fucking A+++++++++++++++++ omg perfection 


Things parents forget to tell their children:

  • Bodies are hairy. No matter the gender, your face will have hair and that is more than okay.
  • Your butthole is going to have some hair too. And maybe your nipples. And your tummy. And where ever else.
  • Stretch marks. Those are a thing. Everyone gets ‘em. If you don’t, you probably don’t have skin.
  • Vaginas smell. Every vagina has a scent. Don’t worry about it! (Unless something seems wrong, then go get it checked out! No need to feel embarrassed or ashamed.)
  • Vaginas come in all different shapes, sizes, colors, flavors. All are beautiful.
  • Penises come in all different shapes, sizes, colors, flavors. All are beautiful.
  • You don’t need to shave anything if you don’t want to. It’s tooootally not mandatory. 
  • Sometimes people get butt acne. 
  • You can have a vagina and want short hair and think dresses are just the worst.
  • You can have a penis and want long hair and think dresses are just the best. 
  • You can wear whatever you want and style your hair however you want.
  • You can even think whatever the hell you want.
  • People might tell you that you are a girl because you have a vagina. People might tell you that you are a boy because you have a penis. People will tell you what your gender is. But in reality, you don’t have to be that gender. You don’t have to be either of those genders. 
  • You are what you are and it’s just the worst thing if you try and hide that.

You can have a penis and want to have a vagina and it’s ok. You can have a vagina and want to have a penis and it’s ok.



here’s a screen cap of a correspondence between a woman named telisha cobb and senator campfield, who is at the forefront of tennessee’s “don’t say gay” bill (actually called the classroom protection act), a bill which would require teachers, counselors, etc. to inform parents if their children are gay, or even if they ~appear~ to be gay. (here is some more information about it.) she posted it on her facebook (easier to read!) and is urging others to share it so the word can get out about what an unbelievable asshole this dude is (if it wasn’t already obvious enough). 

in case you’re having trouble reading the screen cap, it says: 

Senator Campfield, 
I am writing to you as a mother, active citizen and born & raised Tennessean. You are an embarrassment to our great state. Folks all over the country and here in Tennessee are looking at the bills that you are proposing in shock. They are the most ignorant and morally lacking legislation that could be proposed this year. It is clear that you are targeting homosexuals and low income families with hogwash legislation. You need to search your heart, your values and your Christianity to find a better way to represent us as a whole. We will do everything in our power to make sure you are not here in 2014. There are numerous grass root parties that are making their voices heard. 

his super classy response to her email reads: 

You seem to have some serious, deep anger issues. Have you ever thought about therapy? I hear they are doing some wonderful things with medication these days. 

Yours in service, 

Sen. Stacey Campfield 

like come on. you’ve gotta be kidding me here. 

so! if you wouldn’t mind reblogging this and spreading the word, that would be great! telisha wants others to spread this around as much as they possibly can. this is a totally inappropriate and unprofessional way of addressing criticism and more people need to know about this dude and what he’s trying to pull. 

Wow.  That’s some bullshit.

We are real people. We are more than your fictional otp, we are more than your erotic fanfiction, we are more than gross fetishization, we are more than your invasive RPF shipping, we are more than your desire to see two dudes boning. We are real, and we are queer, and we exist in forms outside of two-white-dudes-fucking mould that shippers have created for us, and we don’t need straight people standing up for us through shipping […] or wearing a stupid t-shirt, because we deserve fucking more.
- AJ, on queer experiences in fandom (via grimmygangordie)

Whether it’s maliciously intended or not, language that conflates genitals with gender is cissexist.

machiavellian/heroic xtreme strider bullshit: cocksuckingnincompoop: cocksuckingnincompoop: man people who talk...



man people who talk about how headcanoning characters as trans ~changes everything about them~ will never not make me mad

a trans girl is a girl

a trans guy is a guy

and like exploring the idea of jade and roxy as trans girls or dirk and jake as trans guys would be really interesting considering their weird upbringings??? how do carapacians conceptualize gender and how does roxy relate to that vs all of the older earth culture stuff she reads about? how would dysphoria present itself in jake when he was basically raised by movies, where the only representations of trans people you’re gonna find are “gross” “crossdressing” “men” “pretending” to be women?

would alpha!rose have known through her visions or whatever that roxy and dirk would be trans or would roxy have been left a huge stash of menstrual products that she didn’t need while dirk wound up having to fashion pads out of discarded seagull feathers (!!!SADSTUCK!!!)

no but clearly ppl only write trans characters for fetishization

even the fans who are actually trans



glares fucking daggers at my inbox

I don't even know: neil-gaiman: Trans Etiquette 101: No Offense, But That’s...


Trans Etiquette 101: No Offense, But That’s Offensive



1. Ask permission to ask questions. Even if you think you know they are comfortable answering, they may actually not be or maybe not in that setting, and it is just rude and pretty off-putting to not ask. Say, “Hey do you mind if I ask you some things about your transition? I’ve been a little curious – feel free to not answer or say no.”

2. Avoid private and personal questions. Even a so-called open book like me doesn’t want to discuss my sex life with most anyone. If you really want to know about trans men and sex, ask in general terms – i.e. “Are many trans men ‘stone butch’ in bed?” vs. “Are you stone butch in bed?” BIG difference.

3. Do not ask questions that in any way challenge the trans person’s gender identity or expression or could obviously lead to dysphoria. Do NOT, for example, ask if a trans man will grow to be ‘average male height’ or if a trans woman is uncomfortable with the size of her hands. I’ve gotten, “Are you ever going to look your age?” Ouch, honey.

4. Phrase your questions in a way that affirms a trans person’s gender. And avoid anything that defines the trans person in terms of who they once “were.” This is pretty simple, actually. Instead of asking if someone is “still legally female,” ask what the steps are to becoming legally male and if they have completed them.

5. Avoid comparisons to non-trans people and never use the term “real” in distinguishing between transgender and non-transgender people. “Cisgender” or “non-trans” are the only appropriate ways to signify non-trans status.

6. If it is a general question, try Google first. There is a lot of information on the internet and an open trans person should not be a stand-in for your own research.

7. Do not ask what the person’s birth name was. There is absolutely no reason for you to need to know this and it is likely something this person wants distance from. It is a particularly offensive question when phrased, “What is your REAL name.” After all, Sebastian is my real name and has been since I started asking people to use it.

8. Request specific permission to ask questions relating to genitalia, even if you’ve already received general permission to ask other personal questions. “Are you comfortable discussing your genitalia?” Chances are they aren’t. After all, do you want to talk about yours? But some people are and I acknowledge that there is definitely education needed on the topic so I am not opposed entirely to asking questions, as long as you get extra permission first.

9. Be wary of your phrasing. If you aren’t sure how to talk about trans issues, you need to announce that in the beginning. Be open to correction and don’t get defensive if a trans person is offended by something you say. As a heads up, don’t refer to a trans person as their previously-assigned gender – don’t say “when you were a girl” to a trans man for example. A more accurate and safer route is “before you transitioned” or “when you were living as a girl.”

10. Be aware of your setting. These are private conversations. Don’t approach someone at a crowded party or in algebra class and expect them to have a trans chat with you.

11. Be sensitive to the person’s comfort level throughout the conversation. If they’ve given you permission but are obviously growing uncomfortable discussing things, don’t press. Be grateful for the information you’ve gained and change the subject.

12. Respect the person’s privacy. Unless this person stated otherwise, the personal information they gave you is not for you to share with the world.

Always worth a reblog. 

Yes. (I am grateful that my first trans friends, in London in the early 80s, did not mind my incredibly personal questions.)


imagedesertmint replied to your post: biochip: t34lbloods: by the way if you guys are…

That’s… seriously what people are focusing on with this update? I’ve been too busy drowning in FRIENDSHIPPY FEELS and CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT to browse the tags.

yeah, I had to get off the tag last night because I was so grossed out by it.

all I’ve seen on my dash is people being right of course because my dash is awesome but I still just don’t give a shit, like anyone whose opinion of Dirk is going to change based on what they think his sexuality is is a huge asshole so who cares.

especially when you consider that Dirk grew up 400 years in the future, so you can’t even talk about his sexuality affecting his life in ways that it affects queer people now, because he didn’t grow up in a culture that stigmatizes queerness. he didn’t grow up in a CULTURE, period. why would you ever assume that he would have the same cultural referents for gayness?

#actually if anything in the upd8 surprised me it was him saying jane had a ‘natural advantage’ #for being a girl #because why would you assume that #it’s interesting to me because dirk is the history buff #he grew up in the 25th century but he does have a lot of secondhand cultural knowledge of the 21st #so imagine growing up gay and not thinking much of it #and then discovering that the way you feel would have made you part of a marginalized group in the era your friends live in#THAT must be weird #so like it totally makes sense to me that dirk would be like ‘why do we have to throw the word gay around’ #’why does it even have to be a thing’ #he must have assumed that jane had a ‘natural advantage’ because he knew how things were in jake and jane’s time #this stuff is what’s interesting to me not the BUT IS HE GAY OR NOT bullshit #what if you had some friends from a different culture and you found out that like #smiling when happy was something that they considered odd and it would cause people to lump you in with a marginalized group#like something that you’d never even thought about #how weird would that be#and how pissed off would you be that it was something you even had to think about

and suddenly i want fic